


How to Build a Family

by hopecanbeyoursword



Series: self-sacrificing friends stay together 'til the end [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov-centric, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, from before Infinity War was released, since it follows my take on the fight against Thanos, will make more sense if you've read at least the first part of this series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 19:51:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18971893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopecanbeyoursword/pseuds/hopecanbeyoursword
Summary: Natasha Romanov has a hard time trusting people. But she's made some exceptions.





	How to Build a Family

Natasha Romanov had never been one to express emotion past what was needed for a mission. She had been raised to keep all her feelings under lock and key, shoved to the farthest corner of her mind. Feelings were dangerous, could make her weak. The training was engrained in her. It made her deadly.

Clint Barton, however, proved to be the exception. The first, that is, though she wouldn’t know there would be more until later. It wasn’t as easy and quick as some believed. She had been wary around him for a long time, ready for him to pull the rug out from underneath her. She had learned not to trust anyone. It was dangerous. But he managed to prove to her that she could trust him, or as close to trust as she could manage. They became partners, working together for SHIELD, an organization Natasha didn’t trust. She didn't trust anything. However, Clint, she could work with, so she agreed to be employed by them.

One mission changed everything, and Natasha, albeit unwillingly, let Clint in past the first few walls she built up. He wasn’t privy to everything, and she doubted anyone would ever be, but she let herself start to be seen by him. The real her, not who everyone thought she was. Somewhere between that mission, and her mission to go undercover as Natalie Rushman, the walls fell down. Clint was allowed to patch her up after a hard mission, heard whispers about the Red Room no one else knew. For the first time, Natasha knew what trust was.

Though it seemed odd to outsiders, the next Avenger she trusted, the next _person_ , besides the faith she’d had in Phil Coulson, had been Tony Stark. He didn’t underestimate her, didn’t see her for the role she was playing. Sure, he didn't know who she truly was, but it was clear he didn’t completely buy her “wide-eye, form-fitting dress” portrayal of an assistant. It wasn’t until he let her try on a gauntlet, that though he had no idea who she was, no idea what she could do to him, or anyone else, that it was clear he was comfortable with her in his life. She knew, that in his own way, he was showing her he trusted her. It made it just that much more awkward when he found out who she really was.

But they had learned to move past it. Just like they moved past everything else thrown at them. Because they understood each other in a way the others couldn’t. Both had been raised to keep a tight handle on their emotions, to manipulate with words. Natasha in the Red Room, being raised as an assassin. Tony by his father, to become the perfect heir to Stark Industries, perfect in every way so as not to bring disgrace to the family name. They learned to heal together, late nights spent in silence, but not alone. They learned to admit when they had injuries, at least, more often than they did before. They learned to lean on each other, lifting each other up and making sure they weren’t alone.

She kept her distance from Bruce and Thor and Steve for a while longer. They were her teammates, so she didn’t ignore them, but if it was team bonding night, she chose to stick closer to Clint or Tony. Even Pepper Potts was a safe option to Natasha. The woman had once been her superior, and they respected each other. They stuck together. Over time, Natasha begun to think of Pepper as a friend, someone who knew when keeping busy was the better option.

Since Tony was often down in his labs, sometimes with Bruce, the doctor was the next Avenger Natasha began to trust. She would watch from her spot in the corner of the room as Tony and Bruce interacted, analyzing both of them.

Bruce was quieter than Tony, which wasn’t surprising. However, despite the lack of communication that happened when both were too immersed in their project, they seemed to understand each other. Words weren’t always needed, something that Natasha appreciated. When Bruce was in the shared lab, or his own lab, Natasha took to curling up in the corner with a book. She didn’t need to say anything, and both she and Bruce would take comfort in the silent companionship. Neither was afraid of the other. A deadly assassin who could kill a man with a rubber band in more ways than most people could think of to kill someone in general. A spy who could get to your deepest buried secrets in minutes and incapacitate anything thrown at her. And Bruce, who while seemed harmless, turned into the Hulk. Someone who was afraid of himself, of the anger bubbling in his stomach. Who didn’t know if anyone would ever be able to trust both parts of him, who couldn’t do it himself. Both who were given a team that proved to be good for them.

Sometimes they would meet up in the kitchen at three in the morning when they couldn’t sleep, and drink tea as they watched the sunrise. Other times, Natasha would just watch as Bruce tinkered in the lab, or tried his hand at cooking a new dish. Bruce always knew when Natasha had been injured in battle, even if she waved off Steve’s concerns, and would find a way to treat the injuries away from prying eyes.

He became a confident.

Thor and Steve were a little harder for her. Thor wasn’t around as often, since he had his own kingdom to worry about, and a trickster god for a brother. But when he was around, he usually had an easygoing personality that Natasha found herself enjoying. She could relax around him, not having to carry the weight of past actions on her shoulders. The tension would ease out enough that she’d smile, a small, soft one that only Clint had been able to pull from her. He respected her, knew how tough women could be, comparing her skills to those of heroes from his world. Lady Sif, the Warriors Three, the Valkyrie. It was nice, to just be another friend to Thor. Nothing to live up to that she worried she couldn’t. Black Widow was still part of her identity, but to Thor, she was Natasha.

He was easygoing in a way Natasha had never been, and sometime wondered how he could. He had his own duties, would be king one day. He had high pressure on him, to keep all of his people safe, along with keeping the Earth safe as an Avenger. But it gave Natasha hope, that maybe she would learn to have more fun if she kept her teammates in her life, closer than what she intended to at the start. And sure, Thor wasn’t always happy, but she knew how to deal with that. She’d wrap a blanket around his shoulders and get him tea, or just listen to him talk. She couldn’t often offer words of comfort, but sometimes, listening was all you needed to do.

And thus, Thor was added to her list of friends, of people she could trust.

Steve was easy enough to let in after letting in the others. There was a lot of him that she couldn’t relate to (being a soldier in a World War and being frozen in ice for seventy years), but both understood following orders. Of having to be a perfect soldier in the field. He was the one she sparred with the most, except for Clint, since she had known him longer. Steve was one of the only people that had ever been able to hold their own against her. It didn’t matter that he had the super-soldier serum or that she had been raised since birth as an assassin. Neither was out of place with each other. They watched each other’s back in the field, and would watch movies at night when they couldn’t sleep.

He gave her a different perspective to life. Someone who had lost so much, a man out of place, who was struggling to find his new place in a new world. Who had a title and a legacy to live up to. Who was just trying to be a good man, even if he messed up sometimes. It gave Natasha hope, that maybe she could become a better person than her past, wouldn’t have to work to earn her title as Avenger, _hero_ , good person. Every life she took she would never be able to repay. She could never make up what she took. Like Tony, she carried the weight of her past on her shoulders, unable to move on, but trying to repay her debt. But Steve… he made her want to just become a better person. She couldn’t erase her past, but she could change her future.

 

* * *

Falling out with the people she trusted, her friends, her _family_ (though she would never admit any of them meant that much to her, except maybe Clint), was hard for her. She had never let herself get attached to anyone, knew it would only hurt her in the end. It’s what she was taught in the Red Room, engrained to every inch of her life. The one rule she promised herself she would never break. She saw what it did to other people, victims of villains she and her team fought. Widows, orphans. Natasha couldn’t deal with others’ loss. She couldn’t go through her own.

But she did. She stood next to Tony; Rhodes, Spider-Man, T’Challa, Vision, at their side. She stood, facing Clint, Steve, Wanda, Sam, Scott. The only family she had ever known was falling apart. Neither side was going about things right. Natasha knew that, knew that though they both had good points and ideas (they _should_ be held accountable for things that went wrong, but Steve’s need to protect his friend, the same protectiveness she had towards the team, was understandable), Tony and Steve were both too headstrong and stubborn to listen to each other, or anyone else. She had chosen to stand by Tony’s side. She knew the split would affect him—and her— more than the others. Bruce and Thor were somewhere off planet, and though she was worried about them, whatever was going to happen wouldn’t affect them the same way. Clint, her best friend, was standing against the side she had picked. It hurt, a sharp pain in her chest. But she knew he wouldn’t feel the same. Sure, she knew she was important to him, but he had an _actual_ family waiting for him in Iowa. And Steve would have Bucky, and Sam, and Wanda. She and Tony… they would be alone. Tony had Rhodes and Pepper, seemed to now have Spider-Man, sure. But the loss of the family the Avengers created would resonate with Tony more. And Pepper and Rhodes were people Natasha liked, that she trusted to have her back, whose backs she had.

And then she had to help Steve and Clint and the others escape, leaving Tony and his team, including an injured Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes, behind.

It broke something in her, but she forced it down, putting on the mask of Black Widow, Natasha Romanov slipping into the shadows.

 

* * *

Being welcomed back had been surprising. None of them who had left were given their old clearance, but none of their stuff had been moved. Natasha went back to her usual hiding in the corners, watching the way the others interacted with each other. She didn’t know what would be okay to do anymore. Bruce was allowed in Tony’s labs, still, and Thor smiled at them all, albeit a bit strained.

Tony found her one night, and when he offered her a new pair of widow bites, hastily wrapped in an old newspaper and held together with spiderwebs, she knew they would be okay. They sat in silence as they watched the stars. It took time for them to get back to some sense of normal. And then they had to fight the mad titan Thanos, and though they gained new friends like Spider-Man, they lost Wanda and Sam… Nebula took her final stand against her father.

Natasha knew what loss was. She knew what it was like to mourn a family member, to have attachments. To love.

 

* * *

She vowed to let no one else in, because the Avengers had been too much. She loved them, but the pain of loss was something she didn’t want to handle again. She knew better by then not to force them away. She knew it wouldn’t do any good.

And then Peter befriended a real life Greek demigod, bringing Percy Jackson into the Avengers’ lives. Shuri, too, all of a sudden became someone to protect, from the moment she walked into the compound with her brother. Like Tony, she didn’t think family would ever be something she could do. Never be a parent. She couldn’t be. But three teenagers, Peter, Percy, and Shuri, somehow wormed their way into her concept of family.

Peter was the baby-spider to her mama-spider, someone with a big heart who would one day, save the world as a leader. Shuri was the future of badass women, someone who could be better than them and lead the world with her technology. And Percy… he reminded her of herself. Someone who wanted to do good, who feared what they could do. She saw the broken parts of him, held together by his love for his family. They were what kept him going. He had seen worse than most of them, at a younger age. Yet he still managed to smile, even when there were nights full of nightmares and days with PTSD and anxiety and panic attacks. Even with the scars and the haunted look in his eyes, the way he checked his pocket subconsciously every few minutes to make sure his sword was there, even though it would always come back. Because he was learning to ask for help, had trusted her with getting a grip on the dark powers that were just as much a part of him as his self-sacrificing nature and big heart were. He opened up to her in a way that no one had done before. He asked for advice, and sparred against her, and learned Russian for her.

She felt something for him that she had never felt before, something that Tony and Clint laughed about, before bringing her into a brief hug. “It’s called being a parent,” they explained. “Whether it’s biological children, like Nathaniel, Lila or Cooper,” “or not, like Peter,” “or Percy, in your case” “the feeling is the same.”

And then Sally Jackson brought her into the Jackson-Blofis family, introducing her to Estelle. Bringing her to their Montauk cabin, letting her add her own things. A place that became a safe house, one she had Clint bring her to once, when her brain was drug-addled thanks to the most recent villain and he asked her where the closest safe house was.

She didn’t want to overstep, knowing how important Percy’s bond with his mom was. It had been the only thing that kept him going, sometimes. But she joined them for dinner when they invited her a couple times a month, went to Sally’s book signing, and taught Estelle a few words in Russian once she was old enough to speak. Natasha went to Peter’s decathlon tournaments and tested out Shuri’s technology. She joined Bruce in the labs, trained with Steve, learned to laugh with Thor, healed with Tony, and figured out who she was with Clint.

Her family. As mismatched and broken as they were, together, they were learning to be okay. Clint Barton: formerly-mind controlled by Loki, former agent of SHIELD, father, friend, brother, Avenger, hero. Tony Stark: former playboy, billionaire-genius-philanthropist, with a checkered past and bad childhood, who once ran a weapons empire, with anxiety and PTSD, father, friend, brother, Avenger, hero. Bruce Banner: scientist, genius, formerly suicidal, Hulk, friend, brother, Avenger, hero. Thor Odinson: prince-soon-to-be-king with the pressure of leading a whole group of people, troublesome brother, who struggled to fit in, friend, brother, Avenger, hero. Steve Rogers: scrawny kid turned super soldier, veteran of World War II, a man out of time struggling to figure out who he was past the title given to him, who lost mother and best friend, friend, brother, Avenger, hero. Pepper Potts: CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world, a non-powered woman who could keep all Avengers in line, who was her own superhero, friend, fiance, sister, Avenger, hero. James Rhodes: soldier, War Machine, the best friend anyone could ask for, brother, son, Avenger, hero. Peter Parker: orphan, a boy who watched his uncle died and wanted to protect the every day person, someone thrown into a fight too young, who already faced a lot of traumatic events, with an emotional support dog while still in high school, but would be better than them, son, nephew, friend, Avenger, hero. Shuri of Wakanda: a princess who almost lost her brother, who lost her father, but never backed down, who had to struggle against the prejudices of the world as a woman of color when Wakanda stepped into the world, daughter, sister, friend, Avenger, hero. Percy Jackson: warrior sent to do gods work, who held dying friends and watched friends sacrifice themselves, who went to Hell, who lost so much, suffered from PTSD, nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks that were bad enough for an emotional support dog, friend, son, brother, Savior of Olympus, hero.

And her, Natasha Romanov  ~~Natalia Alianovna Romanova~~ (because the name her friends called her felt more like her real self than the one she was born to): former assassin, protege of the Red Room who had more red in her ledger than she could even fathom, who had joined the Avengers as lone-wolf who didn’t trust, didn’t love, didn’t allow anyone in. Sister, friend, something of a mother figure, Avenger, hero.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings about Natasha, so I wanted to write something more centered around her. I also wanted to let you guys know I'm still working on this series. I hope you'll bear with me until I can update.
> 
> Also, side note: references to Natasha and the Jackson-Blofis family will be touched upon in later parts of this series!


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